Last weekend, I unpacked a favorite handbag after months in storage while I traveled. It’s a large, sleek tote, and the lipstick red leather is a splash.
On Tuesday, June 5, that bag was on my shoulder when I read that its maker had died. I hadn’t known much about Kate Spade, but I admired how the handbags I’ve had of hers withstood a lot of rough treatment.
As Spade took her own life with a scarf, I cannot help thinking that she too had withstood a lot of roughness. Whether from external sources or in her own head, it seems her final choice could be a gentle touch in comparison to whatever lead her there.
Later that day, I tucked an envelope in one of my tote’s inner pockets as a reminder. I wanted to reply to the sweet note my parents had recently mailed along with a People article about one of my favorite travelers and celebrities.
Last night, Thursday, I reread the article and then thought about how hard it is to be on the road as much as this guy had been. The copy sounded fairly upbeat about only seeing his daughter and girlfriend for a few days each month, but I honestly wondered if he really dug it so much still. Road life is fun, until it isn’t.
And then I woke up today to the news that he, Anthony Bourdain, was dead. For Bourdain, there is no euphemism: he killed himself. He’d traveled to over 100 countries and stamped through a dozen passports, never turned down a dish, and brashly charmed his way to culinary and multimedia super fandom. And he did it all without sugarcoating. So I won’t here.
Maybe we’ll learn more about these recent celebrity suicides if there is evidence, and if their respective loved ones see fit. Maybe we will never fully know why Bourdain and Spade chose to die… even though they were each known by millions.
What we DO know is that celebrity suicides open the door for discussion. A study earlier this week reported that rates are on the high rise. Many people have lost others to suicide, and there are many survivors of it too. There’s a lot to be said about the matter of taking one’s own life. So the best outcome of the collective grief over celebrity losses is often raised awareness.
We can even see raised awareness about suicide prevention when we travel. Commuters generally keep to themselves, and I do too, to some extent. But that person sitting next to you quietly sobbing or just looking really sad while waiting from the “walk” signal might honestly benefit from the humanity of a simple smile.
The longest you’ll be impacted is likely only until your stop, but maybe that smile will stay with them all day and into their dark night.
I’m going to try to keep that in mind the next time I get the urge to just pop in my earbuds and look down.
And I hope that if anyone is considering a final decision, they’ll remember:
- You are loved
- You are not alone
- You are the only YOU we have
And…
You have a LOT more passport stamps to collect before you opt out.
You are better than blank pages.
Your voice matters!